A man after my own heart…

actually-misha-collins:

nobody hates justin bieber more than drake bell does

(Source: fivehundreddaysofawesomeness)

A MESSAGE TO THE FEDS

what am I doing?


what am I doing now?


how about now??


are you watching?


are you watching now??


Well you shouldn’t be…


I’m not wearing any pants..


Perverts.

Library Slide

America sucks. Why do we need more Starbucks on every goddamned corner when we could have FUCKING LIBRARY SLIDES?!?!??
This dude is a fantastic comedian, and he enjoys a good boner-inducing shit. (don’t ask me.) 

Follow this beautiful son of a bitch on Twitter: @DudeGurlz 


destroyallslackers:

DESTROY ALL SLACKERS
A feature-length animated comedy about a group of video game loving slackers who start a band as an excuse to party!
“Kail is a 22 year old dude who starts a band with his friends Spade, Dazz, Squadman, and CJ as a way to hang out, party, and most importantly, impress Molly, the girl he’s currently crushing on who’s a regular customer at the video store he works at. Things start to go wrong when Kail takes an offer from a greedy record producer who wants to make him into a superstar. Thinking he’s leaving behind a legacy that would make his late father proud, as well as impress the girl of his dreams, Kail leaves his friends behind in search of fame and fortune. Can the guys get their best friend and lead singer back? Should they even want him back?”
This week the Kickstarter for Destroy All Slackers goes up, we’re asking for $75,000 to complete the animation for the movie. The voices, music, sound, character designs, mostly everything is all done. We just need to finish the storyboards and ship them to the overseas studio to be animated.
Follow our Tumblr to stay informed on what’s going on with the movie!
Tumblr | DudeGurlz Website
Written and Directed by Kris Kail
Art Design by Kat Fajardo
This dude is a fantastic comedian, and he enjoys a good boner-inducing shit. (don’t ask me.) Follow this beautiful son of a bitch on Twitter: @DudeGurlz

destroyallslackers:

DESTROY ALL SLACKERS

A feature-length animated comedy about a group of video game loving slackers who start a band as an excuse to party!

“Kail is a 22 year old dude who starts a band with his friends Spade, Dazz, Squadman, and CJ as a way to hang out, party, and most importantly, impress Molly, the girl he’s currently crushing on who’s a regular customer at the video store he works at. Things start to go wrong when Kail takes an offer from a greedy record producer who wants to make him into a superstar. Thinking he’s leaving behind a legacy that would make his late father proud, as well as impress the girl of his dreams, Kail leaves his friends behind in search of fame and fortune. Can the guys get their best friend and lead singer back? Should they even want him back?”

This week the Kickstarter for Destroy All Slackers goes up, we’re asking for $75,000 to complete the animation for the movie. The voices, music, sound, character designs, mostly everything is all done. We just need to finish the storyboards and ship them to the overseas studio to be animated.

Follow our Tumblr to stay informed on what’s going on with the movie!

Tumblr | DudeGurlz Website

Written and Directed by Kris Kail

Art Design by Kat Fajardo

nostalgiaultra:

I dont even watch the news cause its

  • DEATH!
  • MURDER!
  • PISS!
  • IN!
  • YOUR!
  • EYES!
  • A penguin learned to write today ha ha adorable silver lining story!
  • THE PENGUIN WROTE A CONFESSION TO MURDER
Some Shit That I’m Thinking About @ 9:48 in the Morning (Fuck Me)

Thinking about my life and where I am at this point: I hate my circumstances. I (kinda) hate where I live. There is a FUCKING eyelash stuck under my eyelid, and I want to get the hell out of here. I want to live without struggle. I’m sick of the word “can’t”, and the word “ambition” sounds naive. One of the only things that drives me, is that flicker of hope that I wish I hadn’t ACTUALLY typed out in my previous blog. Hope, and the annoying little film reel that’s constantly playing inside of my head: Me, buying my mom a car that isn’t a piece of shit. Me, buying my mom a house on the beach because she loves the ocean and hasn’t set foot on a grain of sand in nearly 7 years. Me, giving my mom everything she’s never had, because her entire life has been an Augusten Burroughs novel. Me, working with the people who have inspired me, and told me that it’s ok to be different. That it’s OKAY to be the weird, shy, quiet, kid on the playground, who: hates handball, math, talking, and spends her time sitting under a tree, reading, writing, and drawing Sailor Moon over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. I want to be working with people like Seth MacFarlane, who’s made a CAREER out of drawing cartoons and writing about a sociopathic toddler with an affinity for automatic handguns, yellow-caked uranium, and matricide. I want to work with THAT guy. I want to BE that guy. The person who makes a successful career - a LIVING - out of what they truly love. I want to be Seth MacFuckingFarlane. Except I wanna be me - with his kind of money. ..HOW - with the ridiculous sum of money that that man makes - how has he NOT paid someone to make a real-life Peter-copter??

Aspirations of An Aspiring Comedy Writer

I feel like better use could come of some of these “blogs” if I badgered the people of MyFaceSpace with them; & instead, aspire to write about things other than my lack of shitty sleep and bore the holy balls out of my readers. I bore myself.

On the other hand, I realize that I’m still learning how to do this: writing to entertain; not only myself, but whoever chooses to read and (hopefully) appreciate whatever it is that I’m writing.

The idea of becoming a comedy writer at THIS point, is just that (I think): an idea. I’ve always written, I’ve always been a writer, an artist, and I’ve always been…lost. I’ve never really seen myself as funny, or even vaguely amusing; but my love and appreciation for the comedy genre - instilled in me by my mother’s own love of Bugs Bunny and Mel Brooks - has me longing to be silly.

Some people know who they want to be from the get-go: like my brother.
A born musician. Gifted. And fucking brilliant at what he does: Death Metal. Mexican Warlock of the Stringed Instruments with an impenetrable curtain of long, flowing, black hair, commanding the stage with the mighty presence of a METAL GOD. (Look for Incryption on Facebook - their new EP is available on SoundCloud…*cough*)

Me? I doodle on napkins and bits of notebook paper and I write dick, abortion, and poo jokes. It’s like I’m the poster girl for “living in the shadow”.

Though, a name I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, is Seth MacFarlane; KING of dick, abortion, and poo jokes, the reason why I’ve begun to take my craft seriously, and the inspiration behind my aching thirst for a life in comedy.
This random ass, bespectacled, cartoon drawing, Fozzy Bear imitating, Irish kid from Cornhole, Connecticut made a CAREER out of poo jokes.

I thought: Well, fuck - if HE can do it, if HE can “make it”…why the hell can’t I??

So here I am! Writing. Learning. Taking a chance, teaching myself, & getting a crash course on how to write comedy — all by trial and error. Sometimes it does well, and sometimes I suck. Hard. Like: golf-ball-through-a-garden-hose, hard. Like this poorly referenced joke.

And there have been more than just a few moments of unmistakable glory in the year or so that I’ve been atempting this:

1. The Hollywood Improv is following me on The Twitter.

2. ALEX BORSTEIN (voice of Lois Griffin and WRITER FOR FAMILY GUY) RE-TWEETED MY JOKE!!

HELLOOO!!!

I mean, she didn’t find me or anything ..I tweeted her the joke and she liked it.. BUT STILL.!!

I want to do for others, what comedy has done for me: it made me laugh.
All I want to do is entertain, make people laugh, make people smile, and mostly: I want to make people feel good; and it’s stuff like this that gives me hope. It makes that little flicker of a flame that lives inside me burn a little bit brighter.

…Fuck me, that’s so cheesy.

amandapalmer:

dear PETA, 

this ad is really upsetting.

you’re implying that pubic hair that shows/grows “outside the pantyline” (which is normal/natural for the vast majority of us gals) is “unattractive”….this is the kind of shit Gillette and Nair would pull to hock product, and the sort of cultural beauty-standard malarkey that is contributing to a generally worrying trend…12 and 13 year old girls demanding full bikini waxes and all the shit that I think we can all basically agree is absurd.

fur, bad. yes. i’m with you. 

but this ad is perpetuating really unhealthy attitudes. fear and unhappiness in the body-hair department is becoming more and more prevalent in young girls (and all women), because they feel they have no alternative.  most feel like they’ll be judged if they don’t toe the party line, and an organization like PETA has more cred (you’re somewhat cool, right? you’re forward-thinking people fighting for a noble cause, right?) than a corporate hair-removal/razor company. 

despite the strides of progress made by the generation of women who came before us, we’re slipping backwards. the beauty standard is presenting a more and more difficult struggle for young women. ads like this are part of the problem. 

PETA, if you care about animals, and their health and overall happiness index, take your human animals into account alongside the rest of them. 

compassion for all. 

yours,
afp

amandapalmer:

dear PETA,

this ad is really upsetting.

you’re implying that pubic hair that shows/grows “outside the pantyline” (which is normal/natural for the vast majority of us gals) is “unattractive”….this is the kind of shit Gillette and Nair would pull to hock product, and the sort of cultural beauty-standard malarkey that is contributing to a generally worrying trend…12 and 13 year old girls demanding full bikini waxes and all the shit that I think we can all basically agree is absurd.

fur, bad. yes. i’m with you.

but this ad is perpetuating really unhealthy attitudes. fear and unhappiness in the body-hair department is becoming more and more prevalent in young girls (and all women), because they feel they have no alternative. most feel like they’ll be judged if they don’t toe the party line, and an organization like PETA has more cred (you’re somewhat cool, right? you’re forward-thinking people fighting for a noble cause, right?) than a corporate hair-removal/razor company.

despite the strides of progress made by the generation of women who came before us, we’re slipping backwards. the beauty standard is presenting a more and more difficult struggle for young women. ads like this are part of the problem.

PETA, if you care about animals, and their health and overall happiness index, take your human animals into account alongside the rest of them.

compassion for all.

yours,
afp