A: Are you a virgin?
Yes. I want to wait until I find someone I care about and trust completely; I’m not going to have sex for the sake of having sex.
I’m one of those old-timey, old-fashioned, weirdos who actually cares about intimacy and the value of a relationship.
B: 3 biggest pet peeves:
• Men who spit.
• Ignorant, bigoted, racist, assholes.
• Miley Cyrus
C: Celebrity crush?
But please don’t tell him. I will be working with him sometime in the future. #optimism
D: If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?
The election of George Fucking Fucktarded W. Bush
E: Do you smoke?
I do not. Asthma. Though I’ve heard that pot doesn’t affect it.
F: Do you drink?
Not yet. Not quite of age. (By a YEAR!)
G: If you had to rank yourself on a scale of 1 to 10, what would you be?
As a person? 7. I think I’m a decent human being; I’ve never killed anyone and I care about animals.
I’m just as flawed and as fucked up as the next guy, but overall a good person. I’ve said some shit though, so I’m not quiiite an 8. 7 1/2.
H: Longest relationship and with who?
1st grade. Joey. I think he might’ve been gay, though. We bonded over the Spice Girls. He knew all the words to “Wannabe”.
I: 5 turn ons:
Remember, I’m virginal and innocent. (Ha!)
• SMILE AT ME
• MAKE ME LAUGH
• Play with my hair
• A mixture of sweetness and sarcasm.
• Intelligence goes a very long way. Smart is sexy.
J: 5 turn offs:
• General douchebaggary.
• A holier-than-thou attitude; you’re not the only person on the planet, asshole. Neither are you the best.
Stop referring to yourself as “God”, you self-centered, curly-haired, ugly, ill-fitted gym short wearing, opera singing DOUCHE.
• That hand under the chin thing you guys think is funny/hot when you take a self-portrait; same goes for shirtless photos.
• I have a raunchy sense of humor, but I’m still a lady. For the love of CHRIST, do NOT talk about who you want to “fuck”. Have some class. Respect me, and my femininity.(same curly-haired asshat.)
• My name is Claireese. Don’t call me “baby” or “girl”.
• Pull up your goddamn pants, and straighten your baseball cap if you absolutely insist on wearing one.
( I know that was six, but I had to throw in the pants thing. You guys know that that means you’re down for a butt-fuck in prison, right?)
K: What’s the biggest lie you have ever told?
“Yes, you look nice in that picture”
“I like the way you did your makeup. You don’t look pancakey or anemic at all.”
L: Would you ever date someone of another race?
M: What is your sexual orientation?
N: Top 5 traits you look for in a person that you want to have a relationship with:
• Sarcastic, silly sense of humor
• Kind and loving of animals
• “Down to earth”; enjoys the simple things in life; has a blast just hanging out, or watching t.v. (cartoon loving is a must.)
O: Who are you crushing on right now?
No one. Dudes my age are dumb and annoying.
P: Who is your bestfriend?
Let’s go with a safe answer: my mom.
Q: Your guilty pleasure?
“Dancing With People Who Used To Be Considered ‘Stars’”
S: Do looks matter to you?
Well, physical attraction is initially what draws you to someone; but what counts and ultimately what MATTERS in the end is all in the personality and in the heart & soul of a person.
T: What kind of underwear are you wearing?
U: How big is your penis or for a girl, how big are your boobs?
DD. No foolin’. (See my: “Big. Sweaty. Boobs.” blog entry.)
W: Do you like it when people play with your hair?
Depends on who’s doin’ the playing.
Y: Do you name your private parts?
My downstairs is named “Cherry Darling” after Rose McGowan’s character in “Planet Terror”
Z: Do you pee in the shower?
Only if I’m reeeeaally reeeaally tired.
[EDIT: Decided to repost this as my own, as there were waay too many replies to the original. So, please to enjoying my embarrassingly brutal honesty.)